Oral Exam

The church nearest our apartment here in Yangon did a brisk business for Christmas. There were three separate services—in English, Chin, and Kachin. I happened past during the changeover from Chin to Kachin. Folks of all ages in their finest traditional attire came and went. They paused every few steps to admire and greet. Good tidings of great joy. Peace, good will toward men. People urged me to come inside but I wasn’t dressed right. Also, I don’t know a word of Kachin.

Then today a friend and I stumbled upon a gathering that also happens only once a year. We hadn’t been searching for anything particularly seasonal or spiritual. Mostly our outing was touristical. The Buddhist temple that we visited appears in most travelers guides to Yangon.

Before we explored it, all I really knew about the place was that its name is hard to pronounce. I had failed several times to say "Kaba Aye" (World Peace) correctly to taxi drivers when heading to other destinations along the major thoroughfare that is named after the temple. My friend and I arrived on foot, sparing us from mangling the name yet again.

We trudged along a twisting entranceway. I looked for spires and gold and the usual bits of Buddhist architecture. Instead, up loomed a cave. The tall lump of rock seemed alien on so many levels. None of it fit with the province’s flat terrain, the city’s cement landscape, or the right angles of the nearby pagoda’s outbuildings.

Sure enough, a sign out front explained that this cave hadn’t always been there. It was built 60 years ago, modeled on a real one in India where the first Buddhist Council was held in 543 BCE. The replica grotto here looks genuine enough from the outside, but after you enter it’s clear that this ain’t the Buddha’s cave. It makes a first impression similar to a high school gymnasium. On either side of the cave’s brightly lit interior are rows of bleachers. Scoreboards twinkle in the corners. There is space for 10,000 people. Back in 1954, at the sixth Buddhist Council—evidently they don’t happen too regularly—2,500 monks from all over the region gathered in the newly inaugurated cave.

On this day, the cave housed about 200 Myanmar monks and their entourages. The monks recited several lengthy Buddhist texts from memory. It was the ultimate oral exam. Three mistakes and you’re out of the competition. The scoreboards kept track.

A large support crew accompanied each examinee. One senior monk listened, a junior followed along in the multiple books covered by the exam, and a collection of lay volunteers provided moral and nutritional support. Red Bull seemed to be a sponsor.

My friend and I sat out of the way, tucking our feet behind us as one does in the presence of Asian monks. We took up about 10 square feet of floor space. Which left approximately 29,990 for the monks, if the dimensions on the sign out front were to be believed.

Their sound certainly filled the room. For a while I thought the reverberations might bring down the artificial roof. The process called for twenty minutes of recitation, followed by ten minutes of rest. We watched and listened throughout two and a half cycles. A volunteer came to sit with us during the breaks. He explained that the monks would be at it for three days, eight hours a day. The last monk standing, as it were (in fact all of them were sitting cross-legged on individual platforms), would successfully have memorized more than eight volumes of dharma, chanting their contents with fewer than three errors. The volunteer, who said he was 64 years old, claimed to know three of the volumes by heart himself.

We emerged from the cave mighty impressed. I wondered about the longest string of anything that I had ever successfully memorized. For sure it wasn’t the lyrics to a song—I’m notoriously hopeless in that department. My phone number, perhaps? Pi, calculated to about six digits?