Updates

Here is the rest of the story about a few things mentioned here recently:

• My favorite tree species, which blooms in Seattle for about a month, hasn’t stopped blooming here at our apartment since we arrived over six months ago. It’s been joined by several purple orchids, which hang down from a trellis outside the entrance. We are lucky to live in such a nice building.

• Back in September, after seeing her at the opera, I wrote that I wouldn’t be surprised to run into the princess again. It didn’t take long. She showed up at a conference I attended last month about digital libraries. The Thai Library Association is under royal patronage, and she is the designated royal. Lots of pomp and cameras … very fun to watch.

• The same two women still take care of Jip. I had thought when we arrived that turnover might be high, because they would never really get to know her, at least not in the way her Seattle caregivers did. But perhaps enough of the wit and sparkle still shines through, despite the increased communication difficulties.

• At mid season the BC Casuals are 2-10, good for 12th place in our 14-team soccer league. If you know any goal scorers, please send them our way.

The Rest of the Story

I don’t know whether this has ever happened to you: something triggers an interest in those old stories that a favorite aunt has been telling you all your life… but then when you get around to asking her for more details, you discover that the opportunity has passed, because she isn’t quite up to it any more?

That’s kind of how it is with Jip these days. When people bring up a subject she knows lots about—either to make conversation, or because they really are curious to know more—she usually doesn’t feel like sustaining it. She still knows all the details, but she’d rather talk about what’s for dinner or when we are going to do something about the dust in the apartment. Her focus has narrowed to the here and now.

In Chiang Mai, my former teacher toured me around a cool temple and monastery known as Wat Umong. Its forest setting made me think Jip would like it there. I then met a guy for dinner who remembered Jip showing him that temple several years back, when he had been new in town. He even said it was affiliated with a school of meditation teaching that I knew she was once interested in.

I couldn’t wait to ask Jip more about the place when I got back to Bangkok. It had all the ingredients for a fun chat—distant past, happy affiliations, high significance and appeal. But she dropped it like a stone. No longer on her radar screen.

The effect of this disease on her speech is an even bigger obstacle to communicating with Jip. Often her words all run together, or her voice rises and falls like the sound of a car that won’t start. At this point I get about ten percent of what she says … and I do as well as anyone.

So I rely on facial expression for much of my understanding. (Her great smile means so much more to me nowadays than ever before.) That’s why when I pray for miracles, I no longer pray for Jip’s eyes or legs to work again. I would just love to be able to hear the rest of the story.

Chiang Mai Revisited

I took another trip north, to continue scouting around, in case we move there some day. The small town connections in Chiang Mai surfaced again. This time I called on a former Thai language teacher of mine, who has returned there recently.

As we were sitting on her porch, peeling oranges and generally passing a lazy afternoon, I happened to mention the cat guy. My teacher’s husband said, "Oh, Ed! I haven't seen him for years! Let's all go out to dinner with him tonight." Ed suggested, as we worked our way through plates of delicious shrimp and Thai vegetables, that the guy I should really hook up with is his friend Christopher. He takes care of a handicapped brother somewhere on the outskirts of the city.

The next morning Ed drove me to Christopher's house, which turned out to be a healing center, presided over by Christopher's wife Homprang. She teaches about massage, herbs, and various other traditional Thai treatments. Christopher’s brother requires round-the-clock care, which Christopher hires from a nearby rehab hospital.

Even without knowing much about her disease, Christopher and Homprang had good ideas about what might help Jip. They also knew, without my having to explain, what it’s like to be Jip’s husband at this stage.

Afterward I walked around the hospital grounds, which were full of the biggest trees I've seen in Thailand. Lovely people smiled from every bend in the road that circles the little island on which the hospital is built. I’d been up north less than 24 hours, and already it was starting to feel like home.

Merry and Happy

Our holidays were low key—the real festival was a couple weeks before, when we traveled down to Jip’s village. Over Christmas, we had few visitors or calls, but somehow it felt just right. The days around January 1st are the ones people in Bangkok look forward to. It seemed as if half the city headed back to their home province, or to the beach, or something.

My friend Davin, who lives in Beijing, came through on a vacation with his family. They’re used to traveling in Asia, so this town isn’t exotic for them. We took my favorite bike ride and went out for a couple of fun meals. I especially liked being around the kids, listening to them switch seamlessly between English and Mandarin.

One of Jip’s nursing school classmates dropped by. As a physical therapist, he wanted to see how she moves. They giggled their way through a few new exercise routines that I hope will help her become even stronger.

In general Jip has maintained her physical abilities since we arrived here. There’s still no sign of heat affecting her negatively, as many Seattle docs worried that it would. (We were also told that the Thai health care system wouldn’t know what to do with her, which has proved wrong. How easy it is to underestimate a system that one has no experience with!)