Clued In

Recently I’ve been to two funerals, a graduation, and a wedding. After the latest of these milestone occasions, the knot-tying of Jip’s younger brother Chao and his wife Lek, it struck me that I had mostly known beforehand how to behave, even though the traditions differ slightly from those in the States.

Not only does being confident about Thai ways feel good, it’s also nice to be included, treated as Jip’s representative, or just as part of the family. Over time I must have picked up enough of the protocol by osmosis that I don’t have to ask too many questions about what to wear and how to sit and when to wai. I’m not saying I’ve gone native, just that I feel less and less like an outsider.

The funerals were for people I hadn’t known, parents of colleagues at work. Most everyone at the office put in an appearance at least once during these traditionally multi-evening affairs. In one case the event took place at a huge temple where many other funerals were going on simultaneously. As we entered, we had to consult a blackboard for a list of which family was using which room.

Jip’s niece Boe graduated from college. I joined her parents, whom Jip and I have seen only once since our arrival back in Thailand, and a few relatives from her mother’s side, for photos in the morning and a dinner at an outdoor restaurant after the ceremony. Boe basked in the attention, especially when a large group of undergraduates surrounded her, linked shoulders, and shouted out a traditional good luck cheer.