Looking in the Mirror

A couple weeks ago I offered to talk to other spouses when I met up with the neurologist here who specializes in Jip’s disease. One husband and I got together last Saturday evening. He and his wife have only recently begun struggling with this diagnosis. For him it may be even weirder than it was for me, because it’s such a rare problem among Thais. He had lots of questions that I could answer from experience. It was also nice for me to chat with someone who instantly understands something about what my life is like.

Before long, he had to leave the coffee shop to take over from the daytime caregiver he has hired. He does the night shifts, just like I used to do in Seattle. Those shifts are clearly taking a toll—he’s got circles under his eyes. I wasn’t sure if the lines on his forehead were new or natural (he’s about twenty-five years older than I am), but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were caused by worry. I thought to myself, Did I used to look like that? Do I still look like that?

I also realized again how fortunate Jip and I have been throughout our long journey with poor health. In the States, insurance paid for lots of gear that makes our lives much easier. For instance, we have a tall device called a Hoyer lifter that makes it possible for Jip to get from the bed to the wheelchair several times a day, with only one person’s help. This guy’s wife must wait until two strong backs can move her, and so she spends much of her time horizontal.

He and I will probably get together again. Here where there’s no national association that promotes support groups in every community, we can create our own.