Green Light

After watching the current three-person team over the past 48 hours, I feel confident enough to proceed with plans to leave Thailand for three weeks …

...and to tell Jip that I’m going. Before this morning, I had thought I could save her needless worry by delaying this announcement. To be really honest, I was also afraid of her reaction. Jip continues to be unpredictable in both good and bad ways.

For instance, she surprised me pleasantly the other day by saying she’d like to come along to an evening talk at the Siam Society. She’d attended once before, about 18 months ago, when we lived near enough that we could walk over there together. This time the journey required a taxi and a bit more hassle, but she didn’t complain once, and seemed to really enjoy the lecture.

Dealing with a trip to the other side of town, though, is not in the same league as dealing with my going to the other side of the planet. I figured she wouldn’t be too happy about it. I even rehearsed my speech before finally springing the news of my departure.

“Good idea,” she said, after I let her in on the secret I’d been carrying around, “you need some time with your family now and then.”

What? I wrote out talking points so I could defend them … and she agrees with them?

Of course things didn’t turn out to be that simple. An hour later, Jip had thought things over and decided that maybe I didn’t need to return from the U.S. She tried to remove her wedding ring, but she couldn’t get it off. Not long after that, she thought of a few other threats.

Underneath her anger, I’m sure, is fear. What if I don’t come back? What if the caregivers forget the routine? What if … you name it?